Consider Colossians 3:3-13. In an initial read it feels very much like a list of ‘thou shalt nots’ intended to leave us feeling condemned, ashamed, guilty, and hopeless. But that’s not what’s going on here. Paul understands the damaging nature of selfishness, not just to the person acting selfish but to the whole community they’re connected to. Paul is writing to a church, a group of people who are following the way of Jesus, and what he’s really telling them is this, “You need each other! You cannot do this on your own.”
Let’s take a closer look at the list of things he instructs us not to do: “Sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, greed, anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy language and lying.” All of these things corrupt and corrode relationships and social bonds.
Sexual immorality dehumanizes the other person, turning them into an object for selfish ends.
Greed selfishly takes more than is justified and deprives others of what they need.
Anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language all shape the people around us according to our undisciplined and selfish desires - we stomp around insisting everyone else bend to our way and put a lot of strain on social bonds.
All of these behaviors only serve to put us at risk of losing what we really need most, each other. To thrive in life, we have to get good at branching out. We need each other. We need love, support, affirmation, and correction. We need
someone to watch our back when we’re focused in one direction. We need the gifts and skills of a broader community if we intend to build and expand as people.
Paul goes on to say, “clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another just like the Lord forgave you.”
This kind of life will lead to beautiful life-giving relationships with people. Isn’t that what we really want and need? Maybe it’s harder today to forsake the thing we really want now, but tomorrow, with our friends and family around us, won’t we be grateful we didn’t drive them away in our selfishness?
This is the Church, the people of God extending the love of God to the world, because we need each other!